| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|12:04 am] |
also, started reading two new books today!
not quitting smoking(not that i ever was)
really wantin a cold one, if ya know what i mean Eh?!
walking almost everywhere i go lately
finishing dive school in a very short time
lovin freinds, and john, and his family
take it instride baby!
excited for the possibility of some jobs. diving here, which wouold be coooooollllll.
but also diving in florida or alaska. even talked to a guy in scotland. id kinda dig livin in the south for a bit, and id dig livin in alaska for a bit. if i can stay here, i will tho! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|10:14 pm] |
hey friends!
my dad dousent want you to call my house, cus he sleeps!
so call my phone instead if ya are gonna call me at all!
360 340 8777
DO IT! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|04:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
i dont know why the beginning of a new year ought to be any more reason to look forward or dread the future, more than the beginning or end of any ol' day, but for some reason i feel like ive learned more this last year than in those that proceeded it and in turn have grown. in ways that have given me new direction, new goals, immediate results and deeper meaning. the love i have for those i hold dear has expanded.. i dont know how to explain this because its the best way i can share what i mean by this is by noting the difference between being 2 or 3 dimensional... become exponential?? :] i dunno!
somewhat unintentionally, i did some soul searching in 2009. some of my goals have brought me home. and make me feel like maybe i have a purpose. like maybe i can...
in turn, im excited about 2010, for whatever a new decade means.
i dont know why im sharing this...
but i figure why not.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|04:01 pm] |
The only thing I honestly want for Christmas is you. Maybe even a phone call would do. Oh and I'm not really digging these live journal ads.
Hello white Subaru, thank you for your patience and now you can bring me to a nice scenery to sketch, and also a skate park. I promise you I'll be good to you this time. I know you love oil and I'm full of it. Maybe you can fulfill some of this terrible loneliness until 'she' returns.
I hate how I always find the good in the bad. I really am miserable at this time in my life. And it's funny because people always say I'm so quite, but in reality I'm always just thinking about something, or someone. I feel like there are only a certain few people in this world that really deserve my attention. and I give it all to them! After this is all over, I'm going to need you to teach me how to have fun again. I love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|03:36 am] |
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Today I woke up around 5p.m. and once I found out I couldn't hang out with my girlfriend I sat around in my long johns playing online poker while blasting Metallica and watching 9/11 conspiracy documentaries. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|04:03 pm] |
suffer from addiction?
aye aye ayeeeeeeeeee. |
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| redoing old pictures I painted |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|02:22 am] |
I've improved a bit lol
xD
quite a bit since then
did the lil mermaid
:3
well....
I think I can't wait for the future
and you know what?
I love the humor in animes then most comedys I've watched lol
xD
I mean i like it better then family guy (well most)
and you know...my goals in life...are REALLY important to me lol
I mean sometimes by now I would think "nah impossible I can't do it" but its been over 5 months now and I still think I can make something outta myself if I really gave it my all, and im okay if I fail as long as I fail trying. better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all
>:D
aight!
Imma give it my all everyone!
yeah!
postive! stay positive sarah! YEAH!
>xD
damn straight I'm cheering myself on ahhaha
I like my positive attitude I have going on hahaha
btw
my reading glasses came in...I can read better now...I mean its easier to see the words now hahaha. although Im not used to wearing glasses so I get head aches >.<
:]
lets do our best everyone...man i feel so positive hahaha xD
meep |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|01:59 am] |
Sold my Zune to a nice dude and his girlfriend off of Craig's List. On the way home I realized there were a lot of pictures on there that are funny and it makes me smile thinking about a stranger coming across them.
Never thought I'd care about health care until I realized I am crazy. Can't wait until I can afford it. I will stop talking shit about Obama for a little bit if he can pass health care reform that makes it so I can afford it.
The pizza biz has been good. Making bank in tips.
Got a hold of all but one of my creditors and have them squared away. All it really took was an e-mail to the president of the companies which is funny to me for some reason. I wonder how many people that are even more inundated with credit card debt than I, can't get plans set up that work for them because they don't have e-mail.
Cleaned my room after work and ended up spilling the contents of the garbage bag on my bed. Made me never want to clean my room again.
New Poseidon tracks are really good Benn.
I've also come to find that it is really hard to find old metal bands shirts in size small. |
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| hm |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:52 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ramble ramble | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kate Nash "Nicest Thing" also keep holding on by glee cast (again) lol | ] |
toy story three, nice lil reminisce moment for me...Andy's going to college in it, and when the movie gets out, we'll be prepping to go to college too.
=]
its nice....
just now I had this really really irritated feeling but then...watching the clip made me smile.
Everything good and...I feel different. ahhaha
xD
I feel like maybe...everythings good lol
I'm happy
:]
and right now...
I feel like I should have the ppl I love around me
xD
I feel like giving some love around right now hahaha
=D
hm...I feel happy but sad right now.
oh well
I'm just rambling
sahrry |
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| new poseidon songs |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|04:01 pm] |
give me your email to get the rest of them.
I think they're gonna go up on oursound soon.
www.myspace.com/poseidonwa
www.myspace.com/poseidonwa
www.myspace.com/poseidonwa
www.myspace.com/poseidonwa
recorded by the talented/handsome rusty graeff
benn |
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| time together is just never quite enough |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|12:21 am] |
hm...that person is coming back...weird..
you know I always try to see my life as a story book, although it isn't really. but in this case the one for high school is kinda both my ideal story but then agian it isn't...like one main thing in a story is that some how or in some weird way the story ends where it began or a conflict in the begin shows up at the end.
this effect kinda makes us reflect on what happened through out the book/movie and makes us remember that, just because something is in the past and is long gone doesn't make it necessarily unimportant.
some minor detail can sometimes, make a strong impact on you later in your life and despite the fact you want it to be over and done with...sometimes that isn't the best way.
to want to forget hurtful things is foolish....to want to forget them though is understandable, and thinking ppl who want to are foolish....that is what truly is foolish.
we put our expectations of ourselves in others, thats whats foolish...especially if someone can't even live up to that expectation in themself...so they have to go off and do it to someone they think can't or want to see fail because they want to know that not just anybody can live up to that expectation. makes them feel good I suppose.
but I digress....
back to the point....
which is really nothing but me rambling.
I just realized right now...I'm coming back to things that bothered me in the past...certain things that have appeared in front of me that haven't been there since...freshmen year....its strange...I'm comparing my first year of high school to my last and in comparison...senior year is way beyond better, forgive me if I seem conceited or full of myself but, I've really grown and I'm proud of myself...I'm happy...
and now after having a few days or rather, weeks of any real way of talking to ppl....makes me realize im okay without ppl...but I could only do that for so long....I love the friends who stuck by me though... I used to feel like I really had to try 9th grade with certain people, im sure they didn't want me to feel that way but I did, felt like an outcast in many ways but...
the people I consider close friends now...
well to them I guess, I apologize if I ever took you for granted...you guys really are special and above almost everything I've ever said in any of these entries I have on LJ. That I can say is the most true thing on here.
I mean it
<3 |
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| GOODBYE |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|06:04 pm] |
See you in weeks/next year.
Next year sounds very serious.
It's fun.
kbye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|03:57 am] |
im going, im goin
where the water tastes like wine
we can jump in the water
and stay drunk alll the timeee |
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| I could be alone. |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|10:38 pm] |
I am an island.
I feel a little more free just knowing that given all the freedom in the world, I could manage to resurrect a little bit of meaning from it. I'm worried about my peers; Betters and lessers. I know that if they were ever granted the freedom that leaves me sick when it leaves (green and black above red and blue) they would thizz to the over-stimulation. A corrupted snivel. A rotten little girl with no dreams or meaning.
Sustenance, my readers, is more than a "not-for-profit" farming technique.
This word is a summary of emotional fortitude, and a recipe to happiness... Maybe even someday, peace.
Sometimes you might need a little more than you've got, and I hope I've got more than I need.
Join up kinsfolk. Slither to frequencies and vibrations.
Close your eyes; please feel.
Fuck, please feel something. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|07:00 pm] |
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of sockets and hinges. the great deafening shifting around. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|10:59 am] |
Well I gave you everything I had
But you left me sitting on my own
Did you have to treat me oh so bad
All I do is hang my head and moan |
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| Hungry, sick, and leaving. |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|10:56 pm] |
I hurt everywhere all the time.
These days anyways.
My blood is thick.
I can feel it coagulating in the absences of brain-cells I've abolished. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|02:41 pm] |
well, i dunno, why not..
life=learning
school=nearing an end!? oh fuck yeah
job=coworkers i love, job im bored with.. difficult to part with. it's hard to leave what you know
health=holdin up, workin on this
future=who knows!
present=looking forward to liz and dan getting off work!
past=lessons
love life=diy
friends=HOORAY FOR THESE BABES!!
house=cozy, 2 bedrooms whaaa!? and dan's in town whoop whoop
books=unfortunately i havent been reading. even fall quarter. hahaha
time=oh god another year young?!?
animals=1 lizard, 1 danimal! |
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| I hate facts. |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|10:41 pm] |
Feelings are all I base myself on.
I pride myself on the honest ability to say that since childhood I have based my actions on what I want. When I was a child, I wanted candy. But I didn't want to be sick. I rationed myself for the candy's sake.
I've grown up congruent.
A certain fact that I hate though, is that I can't fall asleep on an empty stomach. This is mostly because I never realize I'm hungry until after I brush my teeth.
Hummus on wheat, and a song in my head.
With Gods help I pray I wake up dead. |
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